American Late-Night Jokes

“A very happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybody. Of course, St. Patrick’s day is a little different this year. Nobody’s got any green left.” –Jay Leno
“Hey, a little quiz for you. What is the difference between an  AIG executive and a drunken Irishman? A drunken Irishman spends his own money.” –Jay Leno

“In fact, President Obama’s so upset that he changed his slogan from, ‘Yes we can’ to ‘oh no you don’t!'” –Jay Leno

“The Republicans are on board in this, too. Iowa Senator Charles Grassley told AIG executives — this is what he actually said — he said they should either quit or commit suicide. But I think that’s plain wrong. I mean, why give them the option of quitting?” –Jay Leno

“New research out of the University of Virginia says that our mental abilities begin to decline around the age of 27. In fact, by the age of 50, many of us are thinking at a  President Bush level.” –Jay Leno

“I want to tell you, a beautiful day in New York City. Am I right about that? It was so nice today that AIG gave a bonus to Al Roker.” –David Letterman

“By the way, while you were laughing, AIG just handed out another $100 million in bonuses.” –David Letterman

“In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, the water in the fountains at the White House today was dyed green, which might be the only green a lot of Americans see this year so enjoy it.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“They had a big St. Patty’s Day party at the White House tonight with corned beef and cabbage, green beer — the whole thing. It’s an important part of Obama’s everybody get drunk and forget about the economy policy.” –Jimmy Kimmel


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  1. […] American Late-Night Jokes […]

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